Friday, September 28, 2012

Phoenix Ashes

Despite my efforts to control my out of whack life, I've come to terms with my decisions and have closed my nearly six year old roleplaying website, Withering Tales.

That little piece of heaven on the internet was like my baby. I watched it grow when I first made it when I was fourteen years old (wow, didn't realize just how long ago was that) until now, were it was a blossoming, award-winning, substantial site. Of course, with my brief moment of neglect after starting school, its gusto waned and slowly it fell into a lull of inactivity and failed to receive the affection it deserved.

I'm incredibly sad to see it closed down. The amount of effort I poured forth in attempts to pull it through all of its struggles was a feat all its own. I'm going to miss it something fierce.

Though, like a Phoenix, from its ashes something new will grow. I now have time to focus on my own writings when not swamped with school work (seeing as that's gotten under control recently). Perhaps this is just what I needed to finally kick start my motivation towards my own novels. I'm excited to announce that I've actually started brainstorming two, both horse related (the book world is going to eat me up). One is a fantasy one, not entirely based around horses, but still quite focused on them, and the other actually a series in the baking process about Withering Tales - a sort of momento to myself and my lovely members to show them how much I did care, appreciate, and enjoy their friendships.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sad Truth

It's official it seems. I have to start making certain cut backs in my life - its the sad, sad truth that I'm no longer a free Willy teen any longer, and with that I have to start constructing a daily scheme that reflects my new responsibilities and actions.

My love for writing blossomed from my written role-play. I've been an avid, active role-player for over a decade now (I know, long time), and even managed to host and run one of the most active, award winning equine RP sites for several years. My beloved Withering Tales (the website), however, may be the first cut of many to come. I just can't take the stress it gives me, knowing that I can't be on as much as it requires me to be. How am I supposed to make sure it runs like a well oiled machine if I'm not there to oversee if all the pieces are moving correctly?

It's depressing to think that I'll be closing a home for my friends (members) and I, especially since the staff try their best to help keep WT on its feet. Yet...

How is it supposed to thrive? I very well don't want to hand it over to anyone, that'd just be very awkward for me seeing as I do plan on writing, and hopefully publishing, a book series about this magical place. I'm just so torn... I know a lot of my members will be very upset with me for closing the doors after almost six years, but I just don't see any other way around it.

I have to step up to the plate and accept what I can and cannot handle. And right now, this seems to be one of those spiraling roller coasters that's taking me for a ride that I just can't enjoy.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Getting it Together

As of recent my weekly schedule has taken a dramatic turn. I've found myself drowning under piles of homework for college, maintaining the same hours at work, as well as staying on top of my riding (and other horse chores as well). With a sinking feeling following my every step, there are just days I feel as if I'm going to have to drop something out, or cut myself back. Now, I'm somewhat of a greedy person and do have a good sense of priority, so I can obviously admit my horses would be the first set back.

However, I am unwilling to allow myself to give up on my horse back riding career (again) for the sake of time management in other aspects of my life. There are other people who are far busier than I, and they manage their lives just fine. How come I'm struggling? Well, I suppose that's why I'm deviating a plan of action.

Since school's started, I have the workload of twelve credit hours - six of them being freelance online courses. Now, online courses are God's way of showing us life isn't always far... I hate them. Not only does the workload seem incredibly back breaking, but the time management is hard to regulate as well. Each week is different; I may have appointments this week, more free time another. So, find a good flow of how and at what pace to do my work is difficult. However, I think I may have found my solution.

Over the next week I'm trying a new technique. For some reason, I thought that finishing my workload for my other classes first was going to be my saving grace - how silly. That left 3 days for 2 online courses with rigorous schedules. Instead, I'm reading all of my course material Monday through Wednesday, so that I can dedicate four days to the assignments. That's at least the rough skeleton - it may improve from there. However, I feel that if I can get my classwork on a regulated, balanced schedule I'd do better in the long run and have more time for myself.

That and I must be responsible and stop scheduling all my free time with other items - I need to make a mental note to leave space for riding. I hope during the next week I'll be able to find some extra relief in my daily life through this new plan. If not? I suppose I'll just have to start taking things off of my plate completely.