Phoenix Ashes

Despite my efforts to control my out of whack life, I've come to terms with my decisions and have closed my nearly six year old roleplaying website, Withering Tales.

That little piece of heaven on the internet was like my baby. I watched it grow when I first made it when I was fourteen years old (wow, didn't realize just how long ago was that) until now, were it was a blossoming, award-winning, substantial site. Of course, with my brief moment of neglect after starting school, its gusto waned and slowly it fell into a lull of inactivity and failed to receive the affection it deserved.

I'm incredibly sad to see it closed down. The amount of effort I poured forth in attempts to pull it through all of its struggles was a feat all its own. I'm going to miss it something fierce.

Though, like a Phoenix, from its ashes something new will grow. I now have time to focus on my own writings when not swamped with school work (seeing as that's gotten under control recently). Perhaps this is just what I needed to finally kick start my motivation towards my own novels. I'm excited to announce that I've actually started brainstorming two, both horse related (the book world is going to eat me up). One is a fantasy one, not entirely based around horses, but still quite focused on them, and the other actually a series in the baking process about Withering Tales - a sort of momento to myself and my lovely members to show them how much I did care, appreciate, and enjoy their friendships.

Sad Truth

It's official it seems. I have to start making certain cut backs in my life - its the sad, sad truth that I'm no longer a free Willy teen any longer, and with that I have to start constructing a daily scheme that reflects my new responsibilities and actions.

My love for writing blossomed from my written role-play. I've been an avid, active role-player for over a decade now (I know, long time), and even managed to host and run one of the most active, award winning equine RP sites for several years. My beloved Withering Tales (the website), however, may be the first cut of many to come. I just can't take the stress it gives me, knowing that I can't be on as much as it requires me to be. How am I supposed to make sure it runs like a well oiled machine if I'm not there to oversee if all the pieces are moving correctly?

It's depressing to think that I'll be closing a home for my friends (members) and I, especially since the staff try their best to help keep WT on its feet. Yet...

How is it supposed to thrive? I very well don't want to hand it over to anyone, that'd just be very awkward for me seeing as I do plan on writing, and hopefully publishing, a book series about this magical place. I'm just so torn... I know a lot of my members will be very upset with me for closing the doors after almost six years, but I just don't see any other way around it.

I have to step up to the plate and accept what I can and cannot handle. And right now, this seems to be one of those spiraling roller coasters that's taking me for a ride that I just can't enjoy.

Getting it Together

As of recent my weekly schedule has taken a dramatic turn. I've found myself drowning under piles of homework for college, maintaining the same hours at work, as well as staying on top of my riding (and other horse chores as well). With a sinking feeling following my every step, there are just days I feel as if I'm going to have to drop something out, or cut myself back. Now, I'm somewhat of a greedy person and do have a good sense of priority, so I can obviously admit my horses would be the first set back.

However, I am unwilling to allow myself to give up on my horse back riding career (again) for the sake of time management in other aspects of my life. There are other people who are far busier than I, and they manage their lives just fine. How come I'm struggling? Well, I suppose that's why I'm deviating a plan of action.

Since school's started, I have the workload of twelve credit hours - six of them being freelance online courses. Now, online courses are God's way of showing us life isn't always far... I hate them. Not only does the workload seem incredibly back breaking, but the time management is hard to regulate as well. Each week is different; I may have appointments this week, more free time another. So, find a good flow of how and at what pace to do my work is difficult. However, I think I may have found my solution.

Over the next week I'm trying a new technique. For some reason, I thought that finishing my workload for my other classes first was going to be my saving grace - how silly. That left 3 days for 2 online courses with rigorous schedules. Instead, I'm reading all of my course material Monday through Wednesday, so that I can dedicate four days to the assignments. That's at least the rough skeleton - it may improve from there. However, I feel that if I can get my classwork on a regulated, balanced schedule I'd do better in the long run and have more time for myself.

That and I must be responsible and stop scheduling all my free time with other items - I need to make a mental note to leave space for riding. I hope during the next week I'll be able to find some extra relief in my daily life through this new plan. If not? I suppose I'll just have to start taking things off of my plate completely.

Decline of Creativity

As every artist comes to struggle with at random times during their life, I have been plagued with the disease known as "artist's block". This detrimental item comes, at least to me, with various lazy, ill-motivating, and down right unenjoyable symptoms.

1. Unexplainable, Suffocating Fatigue - There is nothing more aggravating than feeling like a dead lump of wasted skin as you sleep your what could have been productive days away. Instead of working on my novels, constructing artwork and illustrations, or even writing a post for my role playing website, I find myself intimate with my pillow on more occasions than not - and my alarm clock is very jealous of this affair.
2. Head-ache Inducing Boredom - I despise boredom. Yet, I can't fix it when I don't have the motivation to get off my rear end to do a single thing. Yes, I still ride and get a work out there every other day, however, while at home I merely stare at the ceiling or walls. I'm starting to become skeptical about whether they will start trying to talk to me. Crazy, I know.
3. Unavoidable, Instant Rages - Seeing as I hate artist's block, lack of motivation, and all symptoms relating to said items, I find myself incredibly angry with myself, and tend to make rash decisions I would have rather avoided. But what can I do? Its like a circle. Every symptom falls back on itself in this carousel of uselessness, and its not planning on winding down to a stop. Nope. The gay music of nostalgia just drones one like some dying animal.

I think I've made my point quite clear with just these three examples as to how irritating such blocks can be; and the fact its stopping both my art and writing just irks me all the more. I do hope it returns soon.

How do you deal with these times? Force yourself through it? Wait for it to pass? Please feel free to share.

 

Warrior Dash 2012

Warrior Dash. 2012.

Where to start? Well, I suppose the fact that this was my first Warrior Dash... ever. I had only heard about this 3+ mile obstacle course that was basically a hop, skip, and a jump away from our house last year around this time when my friend Katie, pictured above third person in from the left, told me about her experience. Needless to say, this time I joined in (furthest left) with our friends and family.

For those unfamiliar with Warrior Dash, as I had been up until recently, its quite simple. Armed with only the clothes on your back and the shoes on your feet, you take off on a timed track through the wilderness where several obstacles are placed in your path to test your ability as a "warrior". From swimming through small bodies of water to a test of balance, running down a sand pit to scale a mound on the other side, and crawling under barbed wire in mud up to your chin you see it all.

Oh. Did I mention the main attraction? Mud. Lots of it. Near the end of the trek - and I do say it is a trek, at this point I was ready for a nice warm shower and bath - we trudged through waist deep, black mud. At this point I was forced to bid adieu to my aqua shoes as they were sucked mercilessly off my feet and sacrificed to the Warrior Dash Mud gods. So, without any other means of escape (oops, did I say that?) I jogged onward with Katie towards the final obstacles: a nice rope wall...

Several BURNING objects.... (go ahead and laugh, I know its ridiculous myself).

And a quick swim through a mud bog covered with a canopy of barbed wire!

All with a head cold! YAY!

Cray cray, I know. But fun, and very much worth it! I recommend it to everyone who has a Warrior Dash hosted in their state. Don't worry your pretty heads! You can always skip an obstacle you're not comfortable with, and don't have to be in shape - just take my word on that one, ha-ha. All in all, I forced myself through the 85 degrees, sunny, hot day through mud, water, more mud, and sand for a silly medal.

But I'm damn proud. More pictures to come, hopefully! For now, I need to rest up for a date I have with the bestie tomorrow (among attempting to rid myself of this silly head cold). Goodnight, my dears!

Introduction

What best way to celebrate the birth of a new blog other than getting to know the face behind the screen?

Firstly, my name is Hailee and I am a girl of many passions. The first and foremost passion is horse back riding. I've been a part of the prestigious sport since I was eight years old, topping off my many years of experience at nearly twelve. Wow. That's almost a shocker to me! I've had one big partner during the whole time; my red dun quarter horse Kid. He's my baby, whether he likes the attention or not, and one of my best friends. For a few years he was joined by a flea bitten gray half-Arabian named Dover. These two wonderful boys have taken me to the top, and we maintained out position there for several years. Now, I ride a wonderful dark bay Hanovarian named Malone. Though I don't necessarily own him myself, I love him all the same.

Second on my list of passions is writing (explaining this blog, I suppose). My life goal is to be a published author - even if its just for one single book. I don't really care! As long as my books, my work, my worlds even, are on the shelves for others to enjoy. Due to these aspirations, I'm majoring in English with a Writing Specialization at my current learning establishment, the University of Michigan - Flint (wonderful campus, I assure you). Currently I'm working on three series. I know, crazy right?! Very. Anyways, I hope to eventually share snippets and references with you.

Lastly, my forgotten passion is art. I only say this because I haven't quite given it the time of day I would like. I haven't drawn in sometime. However, today I did start a piece of one of my lovely Wyvern (a form of dragon) characters named Katta. I hope to share with you all soon!

Obviously, the blog will surround these three main items. I can't promise reviews of video games, movies, and books won't pop up here and there - after all, I'm quite fond of the three! Haha.

That's all I have for today, other than I'm fighting one terrible head cold. For now, as Tobuscus of Youtube would put it: Bless your faee, and if you sneezed during this blog, bless you. Haha!

New Blog, New Start

Some of you may recognize me! Well, me being a silly, distracted nineteen year old lost the login information to my last blog, and whenever I successfully logged into Blogger it sent me here. Might as well start anew, right? Maybe it was some crazy way of some higher being telling me to just start over and fresh.

Here we are! For the next few days I don't expect very many things for this blog. I'll just write to write, blog to blog, review to review, and rant to rant. You'll all see the sides of me that my family and friends fail to on a regular basis. However, one must know that if they hold in all their emotions all of the time that it'll destroy them.

What's better to let out some steam than some good ranting on a blog? Grab your popcorn, adjust your 3D glasses, because we're about to get real.

Welcome to the life of an aspiring writer, horse back rider, and sophomore college student.